Anyboby on here been through a divorce? Just looking for some advice thanks.

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Wondering what I can do to protect the farm and equipment if anything.

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I personally haven't but know of a couple people who have. Get yourself a good lawyer and not a local lawyer. One guys divorce was quite civil and quick. The other was terrible and the lawyers made out very well.
In WI. Its pretty cut and dry 50/50 .

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I had a friend go threw a devorce in Iowa and everything he had before the marriage she could not touch. But anything they got why married it was 50/50and that included the loans and everything else. Good luck and hope I never have to go threw it myself

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I've always been told when I complain about the house remodel, her clothes, or the new couch that "Its cheaper than Half"

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She will get half of anything after date of marriage until divorce is final, it’s unfortunate but it is what it is. Negotiate and stipulate to as much as possible out of court. I had a nasty 2 year battle and the lawyers took a lot of equity. My best advice, get a great lawyer and help her get an EXCELLENT one if you can. My ex’s lawyer was on the verge of retirement, completely inept and greedy so she just made things much worse. It only made the fight drag on much longer than needed and cost both my ex and me a lot of money we could have kept in our pockets instead. Wish you luck!

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Settle as quick as possible. If a judge gets involved, it will drag out. Judges and lawyers want it to go on forever

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If you can prove that he/she did not contribute, they may not get half!

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Yeah if just left don’t for her to come back pertect your self right away with paper work with a deal and get it signed longer ya wait more she will want get a deal signed right away to be perfected if she does come back later o well ! Hope this helps !

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Once it gets started it rarely comes back together.   Get out before you start making real money and never look back.

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I haven't been through one but know someone going through one for four or five years with no end in sight. Get a good lawyer and check with him before doing anything stupid like letting them move back in.

I have a friend at work that unless they start talking and finding answers I don't see how they won't  be going down the D road.

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Interview all the best lawyers to hire.  Pick an expert with farm divorce!! 
In my case, She told me the farm was a business that would make income and she should get part of that income going forward.  I said ok how much will you pay me, you can take the “business” and I’ll take my share.  What she offers to pay you…. That’s the value, and you’ll likely have to pay her that.  But will your landlords rent to her? I doubt it.  Was there pre-marital property? Likely yes, and that’s yours.  Her lawyer will hire the most crooked accountant ever to claim you’re making 10x what you actually have, if that’s the case… you say ok you take the business and pay me my share.  Let her buy the “business” at her crooked evaluation.  Take the money from her up front and start over with your pre-marital assets plus your half of the marital assets and “business” value. Most likely, She will back down her price until it’s reasonable.  If not, you built it once and you can do it again.

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9 years and 10 months ago I went through a divorce after 32 years of marriage. I didn't get a high end expensive attorney, but he was an attorney that specialized in divorces. I went into my attorneys office with up to date financial statements which he looked at and asked if the numbers were real. I said yes and he said well you are not going to get out of this without paying her half. I didn't see how I would ever be able to afford the repurchase of land which had appreciated in value. The attorney felt that I would be able to do it. He said try to get her to accept payments as alimony payments over 10 years, this way I got to finance the debt at 0% interest and the payments were tax deductible. She took some assets which were deducted from the balance owed and I did cut the value of property a little, . I talked to her and explained that this is the deal and that we can get into long battles in which the attorneys will wind up with most of the stuff or we can get out of this with us keeping most everything. She took the proposal to her attorney in which her attorney didn't like it, (of course) and told her alimony payments were unacceptable because that she would be paying income tax on that, and that she wanted to force sale on the property. I reasoned with her that one of us would be paying income tax on the payments and that she was the one receiving them i felt it only fair that she should pay the tax and if the property sold she would also pay tax. (by the way my attorney told me almost immediately when i met with him that I should not worry,  she will not be able to force sale of the property. I'm not sure why because this issue was never forced, but this did give me comfort).  So..... I have 2 months left, $2,000 per month. I made it through and and excited about it!!!! Our 3 children were grown and out of the house which made this much easier.

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I've been through it... get the best lawyer you can. That's what helped me...it cost but was worth every penny...

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I’ve been there too. Not a fun time but you will get through it. Get the best lawyer!!! And you will be thankful you did. Every situation is different so I’m sorry I can’t give you specific advice except do what’s best for YOU and your KIDS if you have any.

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Well,my great uncle told me. If its not your fault like working to many hour etc. Living with them is easier than cleaning the garage. If your a farmer you got a big garage!

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I have friend who setup his farm as each family is an llc to the farm.  there are 3 to family's tied to this farm. then each llc has a vote on what is going to happen on that farm. Then they put in a clause if one family gets divorced  there voting gets split in half.  and if the one leaving wants to sell there portion they can but whoever buys it is only going to get half a vote.

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Give her what she wants right away.  Lawyers are bullshit

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I got divorced after 7 years of marriage and two kids.  It was very difficult but I could not go on living with her.  She was a psychotic b**** and it had gotten to the point where I hated going home which made things difficult after very long days on the farm.  I had become very depressed.  She was also very unhappy.  I wish I could have made it work for the kids, but I failed.  I was at an advantage because I knew I had made a mistake marrying her very early on so I was prepared for the eventuality that the marriage would fail.  About 4 years in we did a post-nuptial agreement which helped make things easier when we divorced.  We both had legal counsel to help with this.  When we finally decided it was time to end it we luckily both agreed to try and do what was best for the kids.  We worked hard to make it as easy for them as possible.  I still hate dealing with her and she is still crazy but we are able to have a working relationship raising our children.  We have both remarried and I am at least much happier.  In the end it cost me a couple hundred thousand dollars and monthly child support but it was worth every penny to be rid of her.  Divorce is one of the hardest things you will probably ever have to go through but if you do it right it can lead to better outcomes for everyone.  My biggest piece of advice is do whatever you can to maximize the amount of time you spend with your children before the divorce and fight for joint 50/50 custody because if you don't get it to start you wont get it later.  I agree with the advice above to get a good lawyer if you decide to use one.  We did our divorce on our own which made it much cheaper but took a lot of work.

Also, divorce is one of the main reasons you should never own anything personally.  That is what corporations, trust, and LLC's are for.  If you have a good relationship with your parents and a good estate lawyer there is no reason you should have much exposure when divorce happens.

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Get a lawyer that knows the local judges since they decide most cases. In terms of protecting your farm I assume it wasn’t in a trust? If not all you can do is try to negotiate renting to own her share of the farm or you own it and pay her maintenance commensurate with the rental value plus some equity to own over time.

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If you have been married for any length of time then basically your spouse is entitled to at least 50% of the net value of your marital estate. This would not include any property or assets that either of you had before the marriage, gifts or inheritance that you or your spouse may have received after your marriage, which by the way would have to have documented proof. A local judge will most likely be hearing your case so hire a local attorney in good standing and if your estate is very large then by all means get a high powered attorney from a large firm that who's specialty is family law, they can help a great deal with the discovery process and in negotiating a settlement with your spouses attorney, you will need both of them standing with you when you go before the judge so that the judge can see that you have one of the local attorneys there with you. The local attorney will know someone from a large firm that could be brought in if need be, it won't be cheap but they can really get things moving.

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Best advice I got 30 plus years ago was to get rid of her as fast as possible. You need to decide what assets are the most important, be willing to give up the others. Equipment can always be rented, other assets are harder to come by. You both could decide to put some assets in kids names. And yes you need a very good lawyer, it is a cost of divorce.

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My dad just went through one the same year I got married. Praying for you man. I saw how far down it took my dad. Been 3 years now and he’s a lot better. Time heals and surround yourself with friends.

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mine was 7 years ago it came down to a 50/50 assets minus debt plus retirement accounts and cash value life insurance.   There was no value given to cash flow and ability to deal with ongoing debts.  been a struggle but still vertical some are glad others not so much. wish you well.   i like the thought shared about on going cash flow and debt service

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I have been through it.  Tried to keep it afloat but it was a losing cause, was losing anyway so I divorced her.  Everyone has unique circumstances that lead to divorce (his fault, her fault, etc..).  Get a good lawyer, dont give up, and know better days are ahead.  Keep your chin up and I wish you the best.

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I have, and I’m sorry that you are going through this.
First of all accept that this is happening even if you don’t agree. Also keep things amicable, your integrity is worth keeping intact. This is an opportunity for you to focus and improve yourself. Take time to mourn this loss, then slowly regain the Joy in life. You’ve got this! The fear of losing the equipment is just that, a fear. I understand where you’re coming from and it sucks, however there will be lots of positives come from this situation if you allow.
I pray things work out for you and your marriage can be restored.

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I've got to echo what **** says above.  If that's not possible there are lots of "if's".  Mine was irreconcilable.  If there's young kids it becomes even trickier and would suggest you focus on them.  Bankers have way more power legally than most think, they can flat out tell the judge "no" and he has to come to some other agreement.  They (bankers)  have the final say in division of loans and collateral. Too often that's overlooked, and don't expect your judge to have any business common sense.  If there are no dependent children it's generally 50/50, still you've got to get them to account for not only debt and repayment capacity, but values need to be adjusted for all the deferred taxation berried inside our farm operations, that one is almost always never thought of.  "after tax value" is key in any of these circumstances.

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I went thru a divorce after 30 years of marriage. Saved  as much as I could and was very frugal (unlike my ex) to be able to retire at 55. A week after into retirement she filed for divorce four months months after out 30th anniversary. 
So all Incan recommend is to keep the kids out of it and don’t say anything about their mother, look at it like a business transaction and negotiate the best deal possible for you snd for your kids.

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My ex wife left me after 3months married but it took 2.5 yrs to finally be rid of her. Like said before I kind of saw it coming and never filed taxes together, married filing separately, never shared monies so it was easy to prove she contributed nothing to farming operation. Had my daughter born 6months after she left hence reason for getting married. That has been the real battle, the ups and downs of farming, highly variable income, child support judges with no understanding of what it takes to farm. Getting re married and the eventual battle of two women with greatly different views of the world and parenting. Good luck, I can tell you horrible stories, will happily take over the phone. Just drop a line. Be strong

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I am in the middle of a 3 year battle from a 40 year marriage,  and trying to save a farm that has been in my family for 145 years. My twist is that I am the farmer and the wife. Getting a good lawyer IS key. The thing no one tells you is once you file for divorce,  your ability to move assets gets frozen. Secure your assets BEFORE  you file!

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What I ended up doing after watching two lawyers get rich (hers and mine) for about a year, was packaged everything up neatly meaning balance sheet and bank notes and told her lawyer they can have the entire farm. INCLUDING all the DEBT and all I would like is her 401k account.    Lol.  Ended up fighting over the lawn mower which she got.   Moral is...hand the farm the headaches the crops in the field ect. right to them and they will quickly back off.

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Let me plant a seed that may not develop, because that's what I've attempted as a farmer of 30 years.  Since we as farmers make resource allocation decisions each year, I would put this decision in the same category.  I would humbly suggest that you reflect on the concept of reconciliation.  Divorce or reconciliation, which commands the best allocation of resources?   I've been married for 33 years, it's not been easy, but it has been worth it.  It has been the most challenging allocation of resources (investment) that I've personally made.  As farmers we live a vocation of salvaging situations.  We always seem up to the challenge no matter the degree of difficulty.  Can't that/shouldn't that mindset apply to our marriages?  After divorce there is still the challenge of finding someone new to trust and live life with.  Check out Hoperestored.com.  Thanks for reading.  ****

Call (844) 200-FARM

Anyboby on here been through a divorce? Just looking for some advice thanks.

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